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How To Say It (R) to Seniors: Closing the Communication Gap with Our Elders, by David Solie
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A practical guide to bridging the generation gap.
In How to Say It to Seniors, geriatric psychology expert David Solie offers help in removing the typical communication blocks many experience with the elderly. By sharing his insights into the later stages of life, Solie helps in understanding the unique perspective of seniors, and provides the tools to relate to them.
- Sales Rank: #384452 in eBooks
- Published on: 2004-09-07
- Released on: 2004-09-07
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
David Solie, MA, PA is an expert in the psychology of aging, and the President of RiskTutor, a professional training corporation.
Most helpful customer reviews
111 of 113 people found the following review helpful.
Humane, wise, practical...SUPERB
By Erica Bell
It's shocking that this book is being marketed merely to professionals who must deal with the vagaries of the senior personality. It's simply the best book on the subject I've read. The author has a huge heart for seniors and those who work with them--professionals, certainly, but also neighbors, friends, children, grandchildren.
If you're looking for a book on how to manhandle or finesse the elderly into doing what you want (even for their own good), then this isn't for you. Solie explains the new goals seniors face as they contemplate their lives--often alone, as peers and spouses die--and the twin conflicting motivations they must wrangle with--the need for control, and the need to let go. Walking us through their worlds--a world that, if we're honest, we can't but guess at--Solie gently prods us to reevaluate WHY we are communicating so poorly, and how we can improve. In the end, it is we who must change, especially our instinct to bully the senior into a more comfortable situation (usually for US, but as always, "for their own good").
Respect, love, sympathy, and cheer shine out of his writing and text. I read it in one sitting, and found myself in tears. Why didn't I have this book when my mother was still alive?
57 of 58 people found the following review helpful.
All baby boomers need to read this book
By Robert W. Griffith
David Solie has written a remarkable book - "How to Say It to Seniors: Closing the Communications Gap with our Elders." It's aimed squarely at baby boomers who are attempting to handle the difficulties, frustrations, and guilt they feel as they try to achieve effective communication with their elders. Such attempts often fail because of the different agendas held by the middle-aged and the elderly. Mr Solie has unearthed two principal motives in elderly people's verbal and non-verbal behavior - to maintain control over their lives, and to discover their legacy, or how they will be remembered.
The book's approach is logical. Theory is presented, examples of miscommunication are provided, and solutions (or, at the very least, reasonable alternative approaches) are offered. Mr Solie suggests that the reader looks first at the sections that most directly apply to a particular situation, and then returns to the theoretical underpinnings for adapting their behavior. Everyone - whatever age - can relate to the examples chosen, and I submit that everyone can learn from the solutions offered. The writing is clear, simple, and pithy. I particularly liked the apt quotations used in the chapter headings. As a 73-year-old, I cannot recommend this book too highly.
35 of 36 people found the following review helpful.
Peace be With You
By Donald S. Singer
By profession I am an estate planner. I have ushered both parents from this earth after confronting their very real crises in their search for answers in what their limited future would hold for them.
Mr. Solie addresses our frustrations in communicating with the elderly. I am embarassed at my annoyance with my parents for what was their pain. A pain I could not feel because I did not understand.
Mr. Solie's concept is simple: Our "problem" with seniors and their quirks is their search for a peace of mind at life's end. This revelation elevates an obligation of a child in putting up with "irrational" seniors to the act of offering them a path to mental balance. Put this way, the relationship approaches being a holy task.
More than this, understanding Mr. Solie's insight, offers all of us a guide to our own search for meaning in lives that often turned out much different than we thought they would.
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